His Butler, Grell
by Stella Rose-chan
Summary: What if Ciel had never made a contract with Sebastian? What if instead, it was with Grell? "I don't think my manor will be able to withhold this bloody mess much longer..." Black Butler oneshot.


**Stella: I finally did a fanfic that's not dgm related! (I'm sorry Lavi... TxT) Haha, I just had a plot bunny visit me and he decided I should write about Grell! But I feel bad for what I put Ciel through...**

Another loud crash was heard from the other end of the Phantomhive manor. After letting out a long deep breath, the irritated 13-year-old boy put down the daily paper he was reading.

"Really, what is that bloody idiot doing now?" Ciel muttered before rising up from his chair. He rubbed his temples and stormed out of his office.

In the distance, he saw Meirin and Finnian rushing towards him with…makeup on their faces?

"Young master! Young master!" The two cried out in unison and fell to their knees in front of the young earl.

Ciel let out a weary sigh. "What is it this time?"

"M-Mister G-G-Grell! He did it again, yes he did!" Meirin had warm tears flowing down her face at this point, smearing the makeup down along the way.

"I don't understand why! I'm not even a girl!" Finnian tried desperately to scrub the excess makeup off his face with the back of his sleeve, but to no avail.

A shrill laugh reverberated throughout the long hallway. Heels clicking on a wooden floor could be heard coming closer and closer.

"I don't see why you're complaining, Finny-darling! Your face is much too pretty to go to waste! And I do wish you'd let me take your glasses off, Meirin-darling, so that I can finally have a chance to touch up on your beautiful eyelashes." The Phantomhive butler, Grell Sutcliff, blew each victim a kiss. "And Finny, dear, I told you to call me _Madame_ Grell."

"Y-y-y-yes, M-Madame Grell." By now, Finnian was trembling and latched himself onto one of Ciel's legs.

"Honestly, what kind of game are you getting at? You're a butler, not a…damn owner of a beauty salon!" Ciel closed his eyes hoping that when he opened them, the idiots around him would disappear. He let out another sigh when he reopened his eyes and saw that no such thing happened.

"Now, now! No need to be so angry my sweet, delicate master! I have plenty for you, too! No need to fret! Come, come." Grell reached for Ciel's hand, but received a slap across the face instead.

"Don't lay a finger on me, you cretin." He said apathetically. He took his little handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the hand he used to slap Grell.

"Y-young master! I daresay, whatever was that for! I don't recall ever doing anything to your displeasing." Grell stepped closer to his young lord, but made sure to avoid contact with him at all cost.

"_Honestly. _Do you really have no shame? Can you even call yourself a _Phantomhive _butler?"

Grell pouted for a second, but then flashed his razor sharp teeth. Meirin and Finnian flinched back in response, but Ciel remained perfectly still.

"Butler duties are far too…bland for me. My beautiful face just goes to waste here…with no one to appreciate it…at all…" He glanced down at Ciel, hoping for a sort of incentive to be offered.

Ciel glowered at the redheaded butler. "We made a contract. You are to stay here by my side until you have helped fulfill my objective. Do you not remember the covenant, Grell Sutcliff?"

"Ahhh, young master! I love it when you say my name like that! If only you were a few years older, maybe I'd-"

The sound of an explosion could be heard coming from the kitchen. After muttering a few swears, Ciel stomped downstairs towards the new problem with Grell, Meirin and Finnian following suit. He poked his head through the kitchen door, not at all surprised to see Baldroy, whose face was blackened from the charcoal that was once food.

"Another nuisance, I see…"

"Oi, young master! Err, ya see…I thought that since there was a whole lot of meat to cook, it'd be faster if I used this here blowtorch!" The burnt chef whipped out his blowtorch to show his angry master.

"Really? And what good did it serve you?" Ciel asked, each word as cold as ice.

Baldroy put his pyro weapon down and replied meekly. "Not much…"

Ciel motioned his head towards Grell and Meirin. "Clean this mess up, will you?"

Meirin nodded upon hearing the orders, but Grell gave his master a shocked expression.

"But why me? I'm not a maid! I'm a beauty queen!" He complained and added on to Ciel's annoyance.

"You're nothing but an imbecile, you bastard! Ever since you came here, you've done absolutely nothing right! I already have to put up with these three idiots everyday, but you're the real rubbish around here. Honestly! How can you even call yourself butler?" Ciel's face turned bright red. It felt like heat was radiating off of his body from all the rage that was built up. Everyone remained silent and waited for Grell to answer.

"Why…young master…" He mumbled softly. "That was…that was…ABSOLUTELY LOVELY! The way you insulted me like that without hesitation; it was absolutely _rich. _The way raised your voice at me in front of the other workers; it was truly _magnificent!_ More, young master! Give me more!" Grell extended out his arms and ran towards his lord, but Ciel swiftly took a step to the right, resulting in Grell crashing into the wall.

"You're pathetic. And just downright weird." Ciel cleared his throat before continuing. "Now then, I'll leave you four to it."

He turned to leave and when he knew he was out of ear-shot, he mumbled to himself, "I don't think my manor will be able to withhold this bloody mess much longer…"

After the long tedious day, Ciel retired to his bedroom. The one place that ensured him of peace and quiet. Ciel undressed himself (since he didn't trust his butler to do so, for obvious reasons) and made his way to his pure white bed.

"Finally…I'm alone." He closed his eyes, but they shot right open when he heard a giggle beside him.

"W-who's there!" Ciel flipped the covers off, only to reveal the one and only Grell Sutcliff. He opened his mouth to yell at the deranged prat, but a finger was pressed against his lips.

"Before you say anything, young master, I just wanted to let you know that I-"

"GET OUT!" And Ciel rummaged through his nightstand beside him and pulled out a pistol, threatening to use it on his butler.

"But young master, I've also brought the other three as well." Grell whimpered, putting his hands up in defense.

"What?" Ciel spat out, still holding up his gun.

Grell lifted up the rest of the blanket to expose none other than Meirin, Finnian and Baldroy. The young master's eye twitched in anger and he let out an agonizing scream that was loud enough to cause one's ears to bleed.

Suddenly, Ciel rose from his sleeping position on his bed and inhaled long deep breaths of air.

"Young master? Are you alright?" His butler asked worriedly. Ciel looked up to meet his butler's gaze. He saw the familiar jet black hair and the familiar crimson red eyes.

"S-Sebastian…" He paused. "Yes, I'm fine. It was just a bad dream, I suppose."

"Oh, Ciel-darling. It was no dream."

Ciel regretfully looked to his right and saw the long red-haired grim reaper smiling at him. His eyes widened, but he was too much in shock to say anything.

"What's wrong, Ciel-darling? Cat got your tongue? Well, not to worry because now Seba-chan is here to make all our pain go away." Grell sent a wink towards the horrified Ciel and ushered Sebastian to sit beside him.

Ciel, after regaining his ability to speak, let out yet another terror-filled scream. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


End file.
